As Catholics, we have so much to celebrate during the month of June. Aside from the feast days of great saints such as Thomas More, John the Baptist, Peter and Paul, and Anthony of Padua, the entire month is dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It’s a beautiful time to reflect on the immense love of Christ.
Along with those observances comes a celebration of family in four states, including the state of Tennessee, where the governor declared June Nuclear Family Month because “the nuclear family, consisting of one husband, one wife, and any biological, adopted, or fostered children, is God’s design for familial structure and has been the bedrock of society since the creation of the world.”
This wholesome celebration is vital to our country’s well-being and to the health of young people. As St. John Paul II once said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.”
Aside from faith, family is the greatest gift we have. And, barring situations of abuse or violence, kids thrive the most when they have both a mother and a father present in their home. An article in Linacre Quarterly explains, “Children raised apart from the care of both natural parents consistently experience lower developmental outcomes. Traditional, religious marriage norms—a lifelong, exclusive sexual union between man and woman—benefit children by establishing strong conditions that promote such care. More than any other family arrangement, marriage assures to children the care of their own mom and dad.”
Creating and building up that family in faith and love is a parent’s greatest responsibility. The fact that a nuclear family is not always obtainable, sustainable, or a reality for many families should not preclude society’s reverence for it or people’s efforts toward that critical goal.
But it requires work, and that work starts in a marriage built on unity, love, trust, and most importantly faith.
The Catholic Church understands that marriage is not simply a contract between two people; it’s a covenant. And the Catechism of the Catholic Church explains that in this covenant “a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life” that by its very nature is “ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring.”
In a Bible in a Year podcast episode, Fr. Mike Schmitz explained this concept eloquently when he said, “Marriage is meant to get you to heaven. Marriage is meant to be one of the ways in which you die to yourself out of love for Christ and love for others that conforms you to Christ.”
I have been thinking a lot lately about what a good and holy marriage looks like, and thankfully I don’t have to search too far. My parents are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary this week, and I am beyond thankful for their marriage and for their commitment not just to each other, but to their faith and to me.
As is God’s desire, their lives revolve around their faith and their family. They understand that marriage is that primary relationship by which each will become the person God calls them to be and that hopefully will get them to heaven. The Church teaches that, within a marriage, both man and woman build each other up and become better and holier people because of the influence of the other. My parents are the epitome of that, and because of their faith, I had a beautiful foundation to build and foster my own faith. And now that I am older, I can see that the gift of faith they gave me has become a gift that I have returned to them.
Unlike a contract, which is a tit-for-tat agreement, the marriage covenant is a promise by the man and the woman that, through good and bad, they will stand by each other, lift each other up, and not only nurture each other but nurture each other’s faith. It’s not based on what you do for me; it’s based on what I can do for you.
That choice to love unconditionally is how we reflect God’s love. As St. Paul said to the Ephesians, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her.”
A couple’s love within marriage should reflect God’s love for us. Just as He promised us that He will not abandon us, so too must couples hold fast to their own promise to always be there for each other.
When I was young, my parents often played a song called “Wherever You Go,” sung by the Monks of the Weston Priory. Based on Ruth, chapter 1, when Ruth tells her mother-in-law that she will not abandon her, the lyrics echo Ruth’s words, saying, “Wherever you go, I shall go. Wherever you live, so shall I live. . . . Wherever you die, I shall die. And there shall I be buried beside you. We will be together forever, and our love will be the gift of our life.”
The story of Ruth is so beautiful because by putting her mother-in-law first, she makes a selfless choice. Ruth didn’t have to stay with her. After all, tradition of the time was that, since Ruth’s husband had died and there was no other family member she could marry, she was free to go back to her own family. But she made a choice to love.
This is the love God wants for couples in marriage, and in that song, my parents saw something beautiful, something that resonated with their vows, and something that reminded them of God’s love for them. So they printed it out, framed it, and hung in their kitchen. It was, I suppose, a daily reminder that love is not just a feeling. Love is a choice that you make every day, even when you don’t want to.
And then this love multiplies when children are created, and hopefully these children not only see the love of their parents but Christ’s love reflected in their parents.
I am immensely blessed to have witnessed this love, for it taught me that family is indeed the foundation of society. That is why we should always hold the nuclear family in high regard. And that is why I am immensely grateful that a little over 60 years ago, one young Marine asked a beautiful young woman to be his wife, and she said yes.
This article first appeared in LifeSiteNews at lifesitenews.com/opinion/strong-loving-families-are-vital-to-our-countrys-well-being.
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