A 2024 hazing incident that occurred at the Alpha Delta Phi fraternity house at the University of Iowa is back in the news because body cam footage was recently released. In it, over 50 young men can be seen shirtless, blindfolded, and covered in alcohol, ketchup, and mustard in the basement of the fraternity house. Though this was both disturbing and degrading, we are thankful that no one was seriously physically injured.
We cannot say the same for the 20-year-old Southern University student, who died last year after being punched in the chest “multiple times” during a hazing ritual at the Omega Psi Phi fraternity. Or the young man who died in 2021 after an “alcohol-related hazing incident” at a Virginia Commonwealth University fraternity party. Or the myriad stories of sexual harassment and abuse during hazing rituals at high schools across the country.
These stories and the blatant disregard for other people should make you sick. Especially parents. When you send your child to school, you hope that—regardless of their age—they meet good and moral friends who care for them and who’ve got their backs, not people who find it amusing to intentionally harm them.
So we must ask: Where does this behavior come from? An article entitled “The Psychological Manipulation Behind Hazing” explained that a study on hazing behaviors “found that leaders and group members subscribed to the belief that any new pledges must be subjected to the same treatment they received.”
These perpetrators will do anything they want for the purpose of control and humiliation. It’s classic grooming 101.
The article mentioned above goes on to say that “hazing is a psychologically manipulative and dangerous activity that naturally escalates until someone pays the price.” Indeed. And I can’t help but think that it’s not unlike the grooming that sexual predators, organizations like Planned Parenthood, and the pro-abortion world inflict on our youth.
Hurt people hurt people, as the saying goes. And misery loves company. When you live a life of debauchery, shamelessness, and sexual sin, the greatest validation of your behaviors is to have peers who follow you.
These examples clearly illustrate that our society fosters an utter disregard for other human beings, and we make it normal to treat others like playthings or like trash.
Think about it. We hear women scream “my body, my choice” so they can justify dismembering and killing a preborn baby. We hear about false “mercy” so people can prematurely end the life of the sick or elderly. We hear that people should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t “hurt” another, so they justify young people maiming and disfiguring their bodies to look like the opposite sex. They don’t realize that all actions have consequences, if only for the person herself. “Live and let live” or “you do you” are popular phrases today, but they disregard the fact that we should care about the well-being of everyone around us. We should care what they do and which actions they take. And we should never participate in or ignore the immorality or misguided acts of those around us.
This abuse, this disregard for the well-being of others, and the lack of respect for life in all stages will not stop until we as parents have the moral courage to stand up and say enough and to teach our kids to do the same. That takes effort, and it takes time. If we want to change society, it starts within our homes by acknowledging the sanctity of marriage and family and by teaching kids the truth of our faith.
Children need at-home education with programs like the Culture of Life Studies Program, which gives parents the tools they need to discuss the salient issues of today so that they develop strong morals and learn how to go out into the world and speak the truth when all the world is shouting lies. Children need both a mother and a father in the home to guide them and talk with them about the dangers in the world. They need the moral compass of both parents who show consistency in care for their well-being. And when one parent is absent, grandparents, godparents, aunts, and uncles must step in. These role models teach kids that not only they have value but that everyone has value.
By modeling their own moral courage, parents equip their children to go out into the world to do the same.
This reminds me of my favorite poem—“If” by Rudyard Kipling. In it, Kipling lists the traits and behaviors that are necessary for a man of character. Ending the poem with the words “You will be a man, my son,” he hypothesizes many situations a child might find himself in and explains how an honorable man must act. One of those lines advises, “If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue.”
That must be the goal of every single parent for their child. Walk with crowds but keep your virtue. Go out into the world but never forget your faith. Never forget that God loves you and you matter, never forget that all people are valuable and that you have a duty to protect the vulnerable, never intentionally harm others, and never allow people to degrade or harm you.
Parents, now is the time to fortify our homes and to give our children the tools they need to exhibit virtue among the enemies of life. Now is the time to teach our children to value themselves so that they confidently walk away from peers who think that these hazing rituals are funny, who tempt them away from faith with worldly promises that will eventually dissipate, and who seek only to engage them in sinful behavior that leads them to a life devoid of God. Now is the time to raise virtuous children who grow into virtuous adults. If we do not do so, the moral decline we are currently witnessing will not only consume us, it will destroy us.
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